Solitary Life
by Sergeant13
Summary: Xandra Sylen, a Padawan, learns the meaning of power and privilege as taught by her Master, Aldin Grey. Sometimes, the greatest lessons in life can be learned through another Jedi's eyes...
1. Chapter 1

Master Aldin Grey walked through the long corridors of the Jedi Temple with his teenage Padawan, Xandra Sylen, at his side. An incredible concern had arisen concerning their recent trip to the Temple at Ilum, and they were on their way to speak with the Council on the matter. Master Grey looked down to the shy child at his right, trying to reach her through the Force. The girl pushed him back. She did not want to be reassured; she did not want to be told that everything was going to be all right. Everything was never going to be all right.

"We are going to speak to the Council; it will all turn out just fine, Padawan." Xandra clenched her fists in rage, one clamping tightly around her newly completed lightsaber. She wished her Master would stop trying to be nice to her. He knew what had happened; he knew it wasn't right. She was cursed... she was sure of it now. Master Grey did not understand; he was _normal_.

"Padawan, I fully comprehend what you are going through. Please do not formulate false assumptions." Master Grey said in his usual, unemotional tone. Xandra grunted huffily; she needed to improve upon her ability to resist her Master's powers. She had become so fed up with being vulnerable; she felt as if she was never left alone to her own thoughts.

The apprentice decided not to think any longer about the subject for fear of repercussion, and redirected her focus to the hall in front of her. Aldin felt slightly regretful probing his Padawan's feelings when she was facing such hard times, but he knew that it would prompt her to learn to shut him out sooner.

Xandra's sadness and frustration grew as they neared the lift that would take them into the Council Spire. The Room of a Thousand Fountains glittered beautifully, its waterfalls of pristine liquid running through her mind. Here was the calm before the storm.

Master Grey led her into the lift and used the Force to activate it. Xandra kept her head down, her long, tangled umber hair falling to cover her face. Its auburn highlights shimmered from the reflections of the metal elevator. She felt her Master pushing at her thoughts.

"Stop, Master, please! Please, please stop; I cannot take it anymore!" Xandra said forcefully, nearly shouting in anguish.

"I am afraid that you are not entitled to the convenience of that particular excuse, Xandra." Master Grey let his incredible blue eyes pierce her weak mental defenses. The Padawan gave a short screech, clamping her hands to her head. Her Master's lessons hurt in more ways than one.

"Do you honestly believe that I am normal, Padawan?" Xandra opened her eyes and stared at the floor.

"I am sure that you could not possibly understand what it is like to find out that you are able to read another person's mind; to be haunted by their fears... their anger... their nightmares?" Master Grey paused.

"Ha, when you've read enough into others' books you get so confused that you don't even know what your own thoughts are anymore." The lift stopped. Master Grey walked towards the large doors that served as the entrance to the High Council's chambers. He stopped near them and turned to his Padawan.

"Now, Xandra," He genuflected in front of her, taking both of her hands in his. Xandra felt a warm shiver course through her body when he touched her; Master Grey had uncanny ways of attempting to make someone feel better.

"I will go in first and inform them of the situation at hand. I will come for you when we are ready to tell you our conclusions. Wait for me until that time." Xandra nodded solemnly. She feared the Council's reaction.

"Do not worry. They can only help us." Aldin squeezed Xandra's hands and rose, taking the lightsaber from her grip. The doors opened and closed in a matter of moments, concealing her Jedi Master within their solid confines.

Aldin strode into the center of the circular design of chairs, meeting glances immediately with Mace Windu, Shaak Ti, and Yoda, who had been his master those many years ago. Yoda was the only one who knew completely of his terrors. The Jedi Master's piercing blue eyes closed as he gave a respectful bow when he reached his place in the center of attention, his brown hair remaining stationary against his neck. Aldin grew his out more than most men; the soft brown strips ran to the top of his shoulders, curving slightly to the sides of his neck. But of course, it was all cut closely to his head; Aldin didn't like to leave loose ends.

"Masters Jedi of the High Council, I present to you a situation which this Order has not seen in the history of its existence." Master Grey activated Xandra's lightsaber. It was not blue or green, the expected and most common colors for a Jedi's saber, but white, shining with the pure essence of natural light. Mace Windu stroked his chin, placing his elbow on his chair's arm rest.

"My Padawan, Xandra Sylen, and I have just returned from the Temple at Ilum, as you know, and this is the lightsaber she has completed for herself."

"A very interesting color, this is." Yoda stared at the long cylinder's brilliant light.

"Well, you certainly have yourself a unique apprentice, Master Grey. What do you feel this means?" Windu asked, amused. Aldin stalled in answering.

"I regretfully state that I have no perceptive hypothesis to share, Master Windu." Aldin did not drop his glance but kept steady eye contact with the distinguished Jedi Master. However, he knew better than to toy with Mace Windu's thoughts.

"Surely, Master Grey, with the knowledge that you have accumulated through your countless sources; you have come across, in some form, this type of... abnormality?" Master Windu cocked his head slowly as he was speaking, as if to challenge Aldin. Master Grey still did not let his stare waver; he shared contact unblinkingly with the one who stood before him.

"I believe, Master Windu, and please inform me if I am mistaken..." Aldin waved his right hand, letting go of the lightsaber and commanding it to levitate in the air beside him. "That this particular hue of lightsaber has not been documented into existence, even before the Battle at Ruusan."

"Master Grey has a point," Adi Gallia said, joining the conversation. Aldin turned to acknowledge the beautiful woman who shared his color of eyes.

"This color has not yet been discovered. I feel that we should investigate fully concerning the Padawan's lightsaber itself and the Temple at Ilum."

"You would be one to suggest research, Master Gallia," Saesee Tiin interjected. Aldin turned to meet his eye, and immediately read what the Master was thinking.

"Have you looked into the girl's mind, Master Grey?" Tiin said. He shared telepathic signals with his near identical as far as mind powers were concerned.

"Not deeply, but for what I have gathered she is confused, frustrated, and afraid. She believes strongly that she is cursed."

"Many Jedi go through that, they do." Yoda examined Master Grey's face and then looked into his eyes. Aldin did not speak.

"Convince that girl, you must, that in danger she is not. Developing, her powers are."

"Master Yoda, forgive me, but I still possess fear that she will not hear of it that this," Aldin

grabbed the lightsaber out of the air, "or what is happening is normal for a Jedi in training. I cannot explain to her that these powers will even out in time; that there is a purpose for all of this strife!"

"Surely, Master Grey, with your power you would be able to persuade a teenage girl of the future."

"Now, that's just it:" Aldin turned to face Saesee Tiin. "I have no vision of the future, only of the past. My knowledge cannot help her believe that these events are foreshadowing the ones to come!"

"Thinking, you are not, Master Grey." Yoda stepped in. Aldin looked to his former master with slight surprise. He had not heard that phrase since he became a Jedi Master.

"Tell her, you must, of every other Jedi you have encountered. Tell her, you can, of their stories." Aldin gave a nod in thanks.

"Thank you, Master Yoda. I will see to it that she understands."

"See her now, we will."

"Yes, Master." Aldin bowed formally, whipping his cloak around and striding to the door. He came out to find Xandra sitting against the wall beside the door, her knees brought to her chest. Her forehead was resting on them; her arms squeezed her tight form together. Aldin sighed.

"Padawan," The Jedi Master put his hand on Xandra's shoulder, squatting to her level. His formal tone struck Xandra's ears like ice; what she needed more than anything now, she realized, was to be reassured.

"The Council will see you now." The girl slowly lifted her head, and looked her Master in the eye. She wanted him to read her thoughts; his gift was more than a curse to her.

Master Grey used the Force to help his Padawan off of the floor, and rose himself. He nodded as he lowered his hand, giving her permission to enter the chambers. Xandra turned to the doors and stretched her left hand backwards, ripping her lightsaber from Aldin's hand and summoning it to her own.

"I am sorry, Master." She turned her head to meet Aldin's eye once more before she walked into the large room. Aldin ran a hand through his hair, stressed to a point he had never reached before. He knew that his Padawan was apologizing for many more things besides snatching back her lightsaber.

Xandra gave a formal bow in the center of the circle, feeling the twelve Jedi Masters' eyes upon her. She hated being the center of attention.

"Padawan Sylen," Adi Gallia began, "We have come to a few conclusions." The Master looked around the circle before resting her incredible blue eyes on Xandra.

"We will be conducting a full investigation of your lightsaber and the crystals you retrieved from the Temple at Ilum."

"Master Grey will also be conducting a full investigation of his own..." Saesee Tiin interjected. Xandra whirled around to face him.

"From your point of view." Xandra widened her eyes in terror.

"Master Yoda, I beg of your mercy, please. You know of Master Grey's power; you know how it hurts! My secrets, please, Master." She begged. Yoda's face hardened.

"Torture it is not, Padawan. Trust your master you must." Trust him?! Xandra wanted to scream. How can I trust him when he has no reason to trust me?! He can read my mind!

"His powers are not truly extensive, Padawan Sylen. He cannot permanently damage you." Mace Windu interrupted the silence. Xandra shot him a glance. Her feelings suddenly changed. Not truly extensive?! You dare insult my master?! Yoda, too, looked at Windu for a moment, but turned his attention back to Xandra. The girl calmed herself, and bowed.

"Thank you, Masters." Tears formed in her brown eyes as she left. Xandra didn't care anymore as she left the Council chambers. Suddenly, she had to run. She had to run from him.

Aldin was standing against the far wall, several feet from the lift. Xandra was already making her escape when he noticed her come out.

"Xandra!" He yelled as she entered the lift, raising her hand and slamming the door with the Force. Aldin began to use his own power to pry it open again, but Xandra fought back. She mustered all of her energy in keeping the door shut; she couldn't let him discover her secrets.

"Xandra, what are you doing?!" Aldin yelled from outside the lift, still keeping his hold on the door taught. Xandra felt hers slipping; Aldin was too strong for her.

"No!" She whispered, straining her power to fight back.

"Don't let him come in, please!" She pleaded of the Force. But soon her energy was drained completely. The door opened to let Master Grey step inside. The Padawan was curled up in the corner of the lift, her face hidden in her knees and patches of sweat coating her cloak. Beads of perspiration ebbed down Aldin's forehead as he sat beside her.

"He insulted you." Xandra spoke, breaking the silence. "I wanted to slice his head off. He had no right to insult your powers!" Aldin could see his Padawan's muscles spasm. "Not truly extensive... he'll pay for that."

"Don't make empty threats, Padawan."

"And he mistreated you in front of all the other Masters; embarrassed you in front of _Yoda_!"

"My master knows my power. That is all that matters to me."

"He should have said something; he should have stood up for you!"

"I do not expect special treatment from Master Yoda, Padawan. Sometimes, we must choose our battles." Xandra stopped to think. She had acted from fear alone; she did not consider the consequences. Now her energy was drained for the rest of the day for nothing but a lost, foolish battle with the only person she could concretely trust in this world: her master.

"I apologize for all that I have threatened you with, my powers included. I apologize for giving you a reason to fear me. It's just all that I can do in relation to other people... including Master Windu." Xandra looked up and into Aldin's eyes.

"He does not trust me, so naturally he fears me. He knows my true power, and that is why he abuses his. It is nothing more than a game."

"It's not right." Xandra lowered her glance. "We should be able to stand up for ourselves; we should be treated with respect!"

"We are, Xandra. However, there will always be someone who does not care for us; they come few and far between. It's just that some stick around for the duration of our human lives." Xandra chuckled weakly. Her master hardly ever expressed a sense of humor, but in the rare occasion that he did the joke was always well placed.

"Please forgive me, master. I did not mean to doubt you... or turn against you." Xandra raised the hand that held her lightsaber in front of her, and dropped the weapon. She forced it to the other side of the lift.

"I just... need to forget it for a while. Not being normal will take some getting used to."

"Don't expect it to come with experience; I'm 32 and I still haven't taking a liking to it."

"Well you don't like anyone, Master." Aldin chuckled heartily.

"You're probably right, Padawan. Yes, I don't like anyone much. One must have a detached attitude in this business... the day comes and goes and many Jedi die; we cannot place ourselves at risk attending their funerals... if you know what I mean."

"Yes, Master." Xandra took to heart the symbolism in her Master's words. She wished with all her heart that he would never die.

"Now, about this lightsaber catastrophe... as you so heatedly described it in your thoughts." Xandra laughed. "You won't be seeing your weapon for a few months at the least while the council is investigating; I am sorry you have to give up what you have worked so hard to complete."

"I won't miss it." Xandra said coldly, staring at the weapon lying on the floor.

"If you want to think of it this way," Aldin raised his knee, resting his arm upon it. "To me, there is no definition of normal because not one person in this universe is perfect. Being abnormal is being different, and uniqueness is one of the few things Jedi strive for, that everyone strives for. You have been given this power, this saber, to fulfill your destiny. You may not see it now, but the future always knows what's going to happen; it just has to set everything up beforehand." Xandra let her Master's words sink in. She hated to admit it, but he was right. Aldin leaned his head on the lift wall, sighing loudly.

"I have traveled to galaxies far from here, to planets countless light-years from what you could even imagine. And I have seen it all: war, destruction... death. I have searched the minds of soldiers... men and women alike, for purposes that I could not fathom. And the Jedi... oh, the Jedi." Aldin shook his head mournfully. "I have witnessed their life stories of trial and tribulation. I have seen the horrors they have faced fighting for our cause, the pain that they have experienced struggling to win the war. And I am haunted by their memories, especially by their love. They loved the Order; they loved their masters fully. They were their family, after all." The two Jedi shared a moment of silence. Aldin sighed again.

"Their secrets have remained concealed within my mind... I have kept them safe for all this time. It seems like such terrific ages have passed. I have to remember once in a while that I'm not as old as I think I am. It is why Padawans are wonderful to read. They help me remember that I am not alone; there are others who have just come to the Temple with powers like mine, drawn from their homes too late... so that they are scarred with the horror their gift has caused.

"I was old enough to remember my family; I was a late arrival of about eight. Ha, I remember knowing to keep my powers concealed from the others who were skilled in the Force whenever I was out of the house. I could manipulate anyone's mind into doing what I wished. But in the end, my arrogance served as my downfall. When a few people in town noticed that others in their midst looked slightly brainwashed they called for reinforcements. Two Jedi came and took me away from my parents. I remember how I fought them; I nearly made the house collapse, jumped out of my bedroom window, and threw dirt into their eyes so that I could run. They caught up to me in the caves near my mountain home, attempting to use the Jedi Mind Trick. You can only imagine how insulted I was, and I nearly pushed the Jedi's apprentice off the cliff near the cave. But they won in the end, engaging me in a battle much like the one we sported today, and I was crushed in moments. I remember being flung against the cave wall, and then the metal of a starship... and finally seeing my kidnappers for the first time. The Master was a younger Mace Windu; I remember his face clearly. But his apprentice... never came into full focus. I cannot remember neither her name nor what she looked like in the slightest... perhaps my mind was fooled with as well. But then they brought me before the Council when we arrived at Coruscant..."


	2. Chapter 2

"Master Yoda, we have returned with the troublemaker from the planet Selenit."

"Thank you, Master Windu." The child standing between Mace Windu and his Padawan did not bow with his captors nor soften his look of complete anger. He looked directly to the little green Jedi who sat before him and frowned. They were never going to keep him here; they would never keep him bound to this cold place.

"I suggest that he be put into training as soon as possible; the harshest there is. He needs to learn to control his temper and powers alike." The child took his eyes off of Yoda and looked to the door. A small light fixture was fitted in the ceiling. Aldin squinted and concentrated; the fixture came plummeting to the floor with a loud explosion. He looked defiantly to Master Yoda once again.

"See what you mean, I do." Yoda pondered. Aldin crumpled his mouth, clenching his jaw. Someone was pushing at his mind. After a few more seconds of silence, the green Jedi spoke.

"Take him as my apprentice, I will." Master Windu opened his mouth to object. Yoda calmly held out his hand for silence. "Needs my help more than any other, this one does. Too old, he is, for immediate training. Reform his syllabus I will." Aldin sustained his brash gaze as he considered for himself what these people were talking about, at the same time keeping back mind pushes from another Jedi. What training? What were they going to do with him? The other Jedi kept pushing, trying to breech Aldin's mental defenses. The child grew tired of feeling the strain on his mind.

"Stop!" He shouted, turning to the Jedi and flinging his hand out to him. The older one had a wrinkled face and two large horns growing from the side of his head: Master Saesee Tiin.

"You will not read my mind." The child twisted his hand in a strained motion palm up, and then curled it back until his elbow bent and his fingers clenched into a fist. Saesee Tiin sat with a look of utter bewilderment on his face. Aldin had sealed his mind from the Jedi's. The child's arm slowly relaxed to his side, and he turned to face Yoda once again.

"Mind power like this I have seen not in a very long time." The Jedi said. "Come with me, he will." Yoda rose. Aldin waited for a Force push from Mace Windu before following the great Jedi Master out of the Council Chambers.

"Padawan Aldin Grey," Yoda addressed. Aldin crept to the Jedi's side, not knowing what to expect.

"Master Yoda, I am. Brought to this Temple to become a Jedi, you have."


	3. Chapter 3

A few hours later, the time for Aldin's search of Xandra's thoughts was nigh. She would be arriving at his room shortly in the company of Yoda to complete the process and hopefully find the answer to her lightsaber's puzzle. But suddenly, Aldin's noticed that something strange was occurring. His vision was beginning to blur.

"Ah, what is happening to me?" Master Grey looked down at his hands. He could not make out their calloused shape or the position of anything else around him. Something was terribly wrong. Tripping over his own feet, Aldin fell to the floor, barely holding on to his consciousness. Xandra would be coming soon... this could not be happening to him. He was beginning to see something... a battle. A fight with the clones... horrible scenes flashed before his eyes, of soldiers and Jedi alike being struck down by droids... of one man lying on the floor before him.

"Ah!" Aldin yelled, clamping his hands to the sides of his head.

"Tell my wife... I love her." A voice echoed in his mind.

"No!" he yelled again, "No, she's dead, she died too... I saw her die..." Visions of fire and explosions circled his thoughts, spinning his mind out of control. Aldin closed his eyes, wishing for them to disappear. But his will was not enough, for they kept coming. He felt a bout of pain sweep though his mind, a hurt so great that he could not describe it in words. Aldin's lips nearly touched the floor as sweat dripped from his forehead. He tried to open his eyes, but they would not heed his command. "No, stop; don't show me any more!" A boy came charging towards him with a pink training blade in his hands, and another lightsaber swung suddenly and hit him in the chest. Aldin cringed, feeling his hands begin to shake. "No, stop, I didn't mean to," And then Mace Windu appeared in a dark room, holding out his purple weapon. Aldin screamed. He felt himself falling; he had flung his arm out to Windu and had begun siphoning his thoughts.

"He can't run from us..." He saw a little boy running for his life. He felt a hooded woman in black fall into darkness... a great pain enveloped his mind; Aldin felt himself crash into a wall. He had been knocked unconscious by Mace Windu's hand. And then he felt something touch the back of his head.

"Are you a Jedi?" Aldin had never felt so frightened in his life.

"Yes." He felt a blaster bullet pierce his skull. He was falling. Suddenly his point of view changed, and he was kneeling over the Jedi who was just shot.

"No, Jackyll, hang on."

"May the Force... be with you, Aldin."

"No!" Master Grey yelled, shaking his head violently back and forth. "Jack, you'll be okay; you'll be okay! No, you'll be okay..." Aldin was close to tears. He didn't want to see any more. A girl held out her hand, a sparkling white gem in a deep crevice calling to her. The girl dropped it into a lightsaber and Aldin felt a fear unlike any other rush through his form. There was a flash of white light and then a sheet of red clouded his eyesight. Aldin's skin felt as if it were searing; he was so angry that he could burst into flames. Blurs of the High Council's Chambers moved before his eyes, and suddenly he saw his own form, distorted but leaning against a wall. Then fear took over. Aldin started running. Suddenly, regret swept away any fright, any anger, and sadness and guilt gained precedence. Aldin was so completely overwhelmed by the uncontrollable, sudden emotional transfigurations that he cried out, wishing desperately for everything to stop. Then he heard a knocking sound; he couldn't discern if it was real or part of another vision, but a voice he sensed in the Force spoke out in the tangible world.

"Master?"

"No, Xandra, don't come near me... I'm... I'm not safe!"

"Master, are you all right?" Aldin could feel his consciousness slipping from his grasp once again.

"No, don't show me any more!" He screamed.

"Detached..." A voice whispered, ghost-like in form.

"No, Jack, please, I can't stand this!" Aldin stood up, but his head felt so heavy that he thought he might hit the floor again. His body crumpled slightly and did not allow his back to straighten. Aldin cringed and cried out again; another vision was coming.

"Master!" Master Grey sensed his Padawan enter the room. Stability ebbed back into his conscious thoughts as he found the strength to speak.

"No, Xandra, don't touch me! I cannot hold my sanity! You must run; run like you did before! Ah!" Aldin slammed his body into the wall in pain and slid to the floor. He brought his knee to his chest, still clutching tightly to his crania.

"No, we must stop them." A blizzard was raging on the planet; Aldin could barely see two feet in front of him. His blue lightsaber flashed, deflecting the bullets from an unknown enemy, and he heard a distinctive battle cry echo from his own mouth; it was Jack. Blue light scorched Aldin's eyes as he felt a blaster bullet travel through his arm. He shouted in pain and regained sensory feeling; Xandra was still in the room.

"Do not disobey me!" He yelled harshly. Xandra could feel that something was wrong; her Master could not open his eyes.

"Go!" A long, curdling yell reverberated through the halls as the Padawan fled from the room, scared nearly to death. Aldin could barely control his mind; he slipped into insanity yet again.


	4. Chapter 4

"_Detached..." _

Aldin winced as he realized that he was being beaten, his hands tied behind his back and his head nearly slamming against the floor from the force of the clubs.

"You'll never get away with this," Jack spoke, wincing as another blow hit his back. Blood ebbed from his nose onto the cold floor as a man snickered above him, watching with particular amusement. "My master will come for me." The young Jedi let a painful cry exit his mouth as the bat came in fierce contact with his hand; the metal had broken his wrist. The man above him smiled when he heard the bone crack.

"Make sure you shatter the other one as well." Jack cried out in agony as his other wrist was beaten into non-existence. "We would not want you to have a need for this anymore, now, would we?" A dramatically blurred outline of a blue tunnel of light crept into Jack's vision. He felt himself losing grip on the Force; the blows were becoming harder and harder to bear. The Jedi held on tightly to his consciousness, hardening his face and focusing his vision to meet eyes with his evil captor.

"I am sure your master will come for you," he sneered. "That is exactly why I need you to be beaten senseless; to tell him to hurry up!" The man laughed.

"My master cannot be tricked by the likes of you! He will kill you after he's done destroying your entire fleet of... ah!" Jack screamed; the club hit him squarely in the back of the head. Blood streamed in never-ending quantities into a puddle before him.

"Keep going until he's nearly dead. If he speaks..." Jack closed his eyes. "Kill him." A final blow came down upon the Jedi's head as Aldin screamed with him.

"Master! Master Yoda, please, you must help me!" Xandra ran over to the little green Jedi, giving a hasty bow. "Something's wrong with Master Grey; he can't open his eyes! Please, he's in so much pain!"

"This be bad; hurry we must!" Yoda ran along with the Padawan down the many halls of the Jedi Temple. She hoped that they weren't too late.

"No, don't hurt him anymore!" Aldin cried. His head throbbed painfully with every beat of his heart, hurling his senses into oblivion. He wished everything were different; he wished he didn't have these thoughts. He wished he couldn't grasp a taste of how others live their lives; they were only filled with pain and suffering. Especially Jack. He did even not know of such severe encounters; oh, how he had loved him...

Xandra ran into the room with Yoda a second later, and both took a side of the Jedi Master.

Aldin had begun to cry, and his tears wrenched Xandra's heart. She was so frightened for him; this time for him...

"Afraid am I, that there is nothing to do." Yoda concluded.

"What's wrong with him? Why can't you help him?" Xandra cried desperately. Yoda nodded his head in disapproval.

"Come, Padawan. Tell you, I will, what your master is going through..."


	5. Chapter 5

"_Detached..."_

"Jack, no! Don't get him back; there's nothing for you to go back for!" Xandra looked helplessly from her chair at the small table she and Yoda were sitting at, sipping tea. She felt completely incompetent; there was nothing she could do. Yoda hummed.

"Ah, yes... Padawan Jackyll Eveliin. Remember him well, I do." Xandra looked to Yoda.

"Aldin's best friend, he was. Killed, Jack was. Execution style, if correctly Master Grey told me." Xandra winced; Jack was shot in the back of the head. She could not imagine what that felt like.

"No, Jack, please! You'll die, please; you're walking to your death!" Aldin cried again.

"Reliving, he is, Padawan Eveliin's last moments. Witness his death did your Master." Xandra gasped; she couldn't bear to watch him any longer. She buried her face in her hands and cried. Yoda sat silently in the chair across from her. After a few moments, he spoke.

"Nothing, we can do, but wait. Until his mind lets him go we wait." The green Jedi sipped his tea.

"Oh Jack, I'm so sorry..." Aldin whispered in delirium. The minutes passed like hours as the two Jedi waited for the great master to awaken. Xandra remembered painfully what her master had revealed to her on their way up to the Council Spire. He was haunted by their memories... these were his nightmares. Xandra suddenly felt terrible for her actions earlier in the day.

Suddenly, a fierce groan filled the room as Aldin's hands clenched into fists and slammed onto the floor.

"I loved him and I let him die!!" Master Grey yelled in grief. Yoda quickly rose.

"Stay back, Padawan!" He called back to Xandra, who now had no choice but to stay put.

"I let him die!"

"Your fault it was not, Padawan." Yoda spoke calmly. Aldin stood up, but did not open his eyes. He continued the conversation as if he and Yoda were the only ones in the room.

"How can you understand?! You have no idea how to understand. _I saw him die_." Aldin held his hand open to Yoda in a strained position, as if he were holding the anguish of the universe in his palm. His anger overflowed from the sphere of searing hot water, spilling onto the floor of the training room.

"Jedi die, they do. Fault of yours it is not."

"I was there! I watched him fall to the cold, hard ground, his scrambled mind spilling out onto the platform before me! I held him in my arms as he finished his last breath; how could you say such callous things?"

"Your friend, I know. A fine Jedi, he was. But tears he would not want."

"It was all... my... fault." Aldin's fists clenched and his knuckles turned a deadly white as he tried to cope with his anger; he burst out into a violent scream and swung his arms back in angst.

"I could have convinced him; I could have broken my promise and held him back!"

Something in Xandra's mind rose to the surface of her thoughts.

"_One must have a detached attitude in this business... the day comes and goes and many Jedi die; we cannot place ourselves at risk attending their funerals... if you know what I mean."_

"Right of you, it was, not to tamper with his mind. Kept your promise you did."

"Stop! I don't want to hear any more! I will not listen to another word you say!"

"He's still mourning..." Xandra whispered under her breath. "Even though he says he can't... his mind will not obey."

"I don't want to hear it any more! I'm finished with this life, this wretched, cursed life! Nothing you say will change this!"

"Let go, Padawan. Of this you must let go."

"_Detached..."_

"No! I'll never let him go!"

"Let go, Master. It's going to be all right." Xandra said, approaching Aldin slowly.

"No. I can't... he... was my best friend."

"You won't forget. I promise. Just... let... go..."

A mournful sigh escaped Aldin's lips as the weight of all the wind blew from the crevices of his mind, melding into the surrounding air. A great look of relief crossed over Aldin's features as he slowly inhaled again, and his eyelids fluttered open as he gained power over his conscious thoughts again. He collapsed slowly to the floor, exhausted.

"_Detached..."_

Jack's echo faded into the recesses of oblivion, the reminder of the Jedi creed to be forgotten no more.


	6. Chapter 6

Aldin spent weeks in the infirmary, asleep. His mind had been though so much pain that the only remedy was rest. Xandra visited her master every day with a heavy heart. She could not cope with the tremendous burden of regret that she carried with her; she needed to apologize for doubting him, for avoiding him, for being afraid of his power. She needed to tell him that she loved him and respected him, for what she had witnessed a few short nights ago caused her to realize that life was short.

Xandra tiptoed to the right side of her master's bed. He was breathing steadily, and his features were peaceful. Xandra smiled. She wished that he would wake; she had wonderful news to tell him. Suddenly, her master groaned softly, and his eyelids twitched, revealing his bright blue eyes after a moment of struggling. His gaze drifted in her direction until it locked with hers.

"I see you have wonderful news to tell me." Xandra smirked. He had not even been awake two moments and he had already read her mind.

"Yes, Master. Look," Xandra procured a slim, short metal rod from her robes and held it so that Aldin could see. "The Council returned my lightsaber."

"Ah," Aldin sighed, amused. "And what did they find?"

"Nothing, Master. They said there was nothing wrong with it. They said they could not find a reason why this happened."

"Typical." Master Grey chuckled weakly. "There are too many unexplained events for the Council to handle." Xandra laughed.

"Well, I suppose you will have to wait and see what the future holds for you and your... unique lightsaber."

"Yes, I suppose so." Xandra smiled as a few small tears trickled down her cheeks. She reached out and took her Master's hand, squeezing it with gratitude. She realized, suddenly, that she would have to let him go eventually... she hoped that day would never come.

"Come closer, Xandra." Master Grey whispered, smiling. Xandra obeyed her Master's request. "I have a story to tell you. It's about I Jedi that I knew very well... that I had the privilege to know very well. His name was Jackyll Adenine Eveliin."

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After-Reading Notes: so... this is technically the end of the story. I can write more... if people want me to. but I thought this would be a good place to leave off; however, if you disagree, then tell me! I'll need your opinions on this.


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